They Show Up. They Smile. Nothing Changes.
You know the person. They have been in your group for months, maybe years. They come almost every week. They are pleasant. They contribute to discussion occasionally. But if you are honest, they are in the same place spiritually that they were a year ago.
The same struggles surface. The same excuses show up. The same vague commitments get made and quietly abandoned. And you are not sure what to do about it.
You are not alone. This is one of the most common challenges small group leaders face, and one of the least talked about.
Dryness vs. Stagnation: Know the Difference
Before you do anything, you need to discern what you are actually dealing with. Not every lack of visible growth is the same thing.
Spiritual dryness is a season. It happens to every believer. The Psalms are full of it, "How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?" (Psalm 13:1). Someone in a dry season is often frustrated by their lack of growth. They want more but cannot seem to find it. They may feel distant from God even though they are still pursuing Him.
Spiritual stagnation is a pattern. It is not a temporary season but a settled posture. Someone who is stagnant is usually comfortable. They are not distressed by their lack of growth because they have redefined "good enough." Church attendance, small group participation, and being a decent person have become their finish line.
The approach for each is very different.
Walking With Someone Through Dryness
If someone in your group is in a dry season, the worst thing you can do is pile on more activity. "Have you tried reading more? Praying more? Serving more?" That is like telling someone who is exhausted to run harder.
Instead:
Normalize it. "What you are experiencing is real, and it does not mean you are failing. Some of the greatest saints described seasons exactly like this."
Simplify. If their Bible reading has stalled, do not give them a 90-day plan. Give them one psalm a day. Start with Praying the Psalms: 30 Days. It meets people where they are and does not demand more than they can give.
Stay close. Check in midweek with a text that does not demand a response: "Praying for you today." Presence matters more than advice in a dry season.
Addressing Stagnation With Love and Honesty
Stagnation is harder because it requires a conversation most leaders avoid. But avoiding it is not love. It is comfort-seeking disguised as grace.
Here is a conversation framework that works:
Start with care, not critique. "I care about you, and I have noticed something I want to talk about. Is that okay?"
Name what you see without accusing. "Over the past few months, it seems like you have been coasting a bit. The things you were struggling with in January are the same things coming up now. I am not saying that to shame you. I am saying it because I think you are capable of more."
Ask, do not tell. "What do you think is holding you back? Is there something going on that the group does not know about?"
Offer a concrete next step. "Would you be willing to try something with me? Let us pick a reading plan together and check in once a week for the next month. Not as homework, as a partnership."
Sometimes that conversation unlocks something that has been buried for months. Sometimes it reveals a wound or a fear that the person has never voiced. And sometimes it is the loving push they have been waiting for someone to give.
When They Are Not Ready
Not everyone will respond to the conversation. Some people will nod, agree, and continue exactly as before. That is their choice, and you have to respect it.
But here is what you do not have to do: pretend everything is fine. You can continue to love them, welcome them, and include them, while also being honest that the door to deeper growth is open whenever they want to walk through it.
And you can make sure the rest of your group is not held back by one person's unwillingness to engage. Set the bar for the group by your own example and by the culture you create.
The Long View
Discipleship is not a sprint. Some of the most dramatic transformations happen in people who seemed stuck for years before something finally broke through. Your job is not to force growth. It is to faithfully plant seeds, water them, and trust God with the harvest.
Keep showing up. Keep asking hard questions. Keep pointing people to Jesus through His Word. And explore the discipleship pathway for a framework that gives people clear next steps when they are ready to take them.